Letting go and letting God
Written by maialancholy | | 7 CommentsJuly 14th, 2008
I think I wrote a post with the same title a while back already, but I’m writing on it one more time.
The hubby and I have a wonderful baby boy who is our joy. We had him from just one of my ovaries (since the other one had a cyst and was removed even before we got married) so it’s a miracle in itself, aside from babies are God’s miracle. I thought that I would have difficulty in getting pregnant due to my condition but God has other plans for me.
The little boy was diagnosed of hearing loss during his newborn screening test. His doctor advised us to take a series of preliminary tests to see the level of his hearing loss. Of course I was crushed. My little boy, still so helpless, had to be strapped with cords and machines to see if he can hear clearly. And there is the issue IF he can hear. I stormed the heavens with my prayers (more like whining) why this has to happen to my son. I wanted to protect him, to make it all better. If I could have gone through it myself, I would. If I could trade myself, I would volunteer.
Tons of OAEs, ABRs, ASSRs, and a behavioral test to boot, today was the last assessment for the little baby. We are faithful that as God is a perfect God, He will also make the little boy’s hearing perfect. God is also a God of miracles, so I am sure healing is on its way. But no. The results showed the same result we already know. The little boy indeed has hearing loss and should be on hearing aid soon to avoid developmental delays. Again, I am crushed. Now I know what unconditional love meant.
I cried buckets of tears, asking God why. But His answer was why not? God made my son so special, that even with his condition, he is still a jolly little baby, bringing a smile to everyone he meets. I know deep in my heart that God has a great plan for him. Healing and miracles are still on its way, perhaps not just what my mind can fathom. God is a loving God, that even I, a mere human, can love my son this way, means that God loves my son so much more.
So, again, I am letting go, and letting God. I still want to work hard for my baby, give him all that he needs, and protect him, and love him. But God know best. God has blessed us with my son, and He has chosen us to take care of His angel. That must mean we are capable. He will equip us with all that we need to take care of my son in order to glorify Him, as in all things.
And glorify Him we will.
Hello -
I remember when my son was diagnosed as HOH… he was almost 4… and that was several years ago. He was born before they started screening all newborns - or we would have known from the get-go. I envy you that. I wish I had known… because I felt terribly guilty once we found out. We could have been meeting his needs all along…
While there is a grieving process regardless of when we find out - and that’s okay. As a mom, we hate to see or even think of our child stuggling. But, you have the benefit of knowing there is a problem and now you can help your baby boy deal with his hearing loss. The really good news is that there is so many ways you can easily make a difference with him, not that you know.
Learn all you can… Research… and, stay on top of it. The more you know and understand it, the better off you will all be.
My son is 11 now… and doing really, REALLY well.
Take care,
Deb
Hi Maia, I was so moved with your post. I will include your little angel to my prayers. Have faith in the Lord.
“God is a loving God, that even I, a mere human, can love my son this way, means that God loves my son so much more.”
Yes, definitely.
Wow Ate Maia, this story is a reminder to all of us. Thanks for sharing your faith. I’m sure Johann’s going to be just fine. 
Prayin for you three.
I know this is pretty devastating for you… but your son couldn’t have been born at a most opportune time. Help is now available for babies like him, you just have to seek it and take it
But there is no reason at all for him to grow up and not enjoy a normal life… just a different kind of normal from us, but normal just the same…
what a blessing, isn’t it?
hey maia - i’m owei’s friend from many moons ago. anyway read this blog post of yours. very touching. i have some sorta hearing loss myself but my entire life i’ve seen God’s hand move mountains for me. i won’t say my hearing ever improved (and I may struggle with it every now and then) but my life has been a continuous testimony of His outpouring of blessings. So for your son, it’s just one flaw that will be overshadowed (or will that be overshined?) by the flood of blessings in store for his life. Our God is a faithful and wise God!
take care!
much love,
dot
Thanks for all your encouraging words. I keep them in my heart for the times that I need inspiring words, aside from God’s eternal promise that all will be alright. God bless us all.
hi maia,
you are so blessed GOD had given you the chance of knowing your baby’s hearing loss so early..we waited for 2 long years to finally accept that something is quite wrong with our little girl. developmental delays had set in…EC has speech delay that we are still working on up to now..if only her hearing was checked earlier and the hearing loss diagnosed sooner things might have been different..i had lots of questions that went unanswered then, i bottled up anger against the unfairness of GOD?why us?why my baby? but eventually i was able to accept though im still grieving EC’s hearing loss.
I believe GOD has His own plans instore for us..the cross that we are carrying now is preweighed by Him…He gave it to us because He knew for sure that we can carry its load…Continue to be strong maia for your husband and baby..
I’ll be praying for you and your family..
roselle
http://www.berose.wordpress.com
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